Do you find that you end up in relationships that don’t work out? And you think “Man! I should have seen that coming!” or “Why didn’t I find this out in the beginning?”? Well, we’re here to help!
By creating a checklist for your perfect partner, you can make sure that the person you’re dating is a good match before you start a relationship with them. You will list the most important qualities and things you want out of a partner as well as things that you don’t want. This will help you stick to what you know you want for yourself instead of ignoring red flags and jumping into another bound-to-fail relationship.
Let’s look at how you can craft the perfect relationship checklist as well as examples of what kind of things you should have on yours. You can use our free printable at the end of this article to write your checklist quickly and easily today!
How to Write Your Checklist for Dating
Your checklist should have three sections. A “must-have” section, a “would be nice” section, and a “dealbreaker” section. These will help you categorize and prioritize the things you want and don’t want in a romantic partner. Here is what the sections should look like.
Must Haves
Your “must-have” section should be filled with the qualities and things your future partner has to have. These are things that you aren’t flexible on. They should be based on your values and ideals. Some examples are religious affiliations, life goals and plans, and core beliefs.
Would Be Nice
This section should be filled with things that you’d like in a partner, but it’s not a dealbreaker if they aren’t present. These are the areas in which you’re flexible and are checklist items that aren’t as important. Some examples could be physical attributes, interests, and preferences.
Dealbreakers
This section on your checklist is for the things that you do not want in a significant other. When writing this section, think of things that someone could say or do that would make you not want to be with them. Or they could be things that if you found out about them, you’d end the relationship. Some examples are bad habits, differing values, baggage, and bad qualities.
Relationship Checklist Examples
Now that you know how to use each section on the checklist, let’s look at some examples of items that you may want to add. These examples are broken down into wants and dealbreakers. You can separate the wants into the “must-haves” and “would be nice” categories based on your personal preferences. Don’t forget to come up with some of your own as well since this is a very unique and personal list.
Wants
- Great sense of humor
- Honest
- Faithful
- Has a good job
- Lives on their own
- Prioritizes me and our relationship
- Kind to others
- Financially stable
- Educated
- Adventurous
- Likes to travel
- Loves dogs
- Wants kids in the future
- Has a future goal of marriage
- Has a good relationship with their family
- Takes care of their body
- Great cook
- Religious or spiritual
- Is a positive person
- Likes to be outdoors
- Great communicator
- Able to anticipate my needs
- Compatible sexually
- Generous
- Trustworthy
- Respectful
- Supportive
- Makes me feel comfortable being myself
- Puts effort into being romantic
- Gets along with my friends and family
- We have great chemistry
- On board with my goals
- Encourages me
- Has great hair
- Stays in shape
- Enjoys trying new things
- Is openminded
- Great with kids
- Smart
- Able to have deep conversations
- Willing to move far away in the future
- Understands your love language
- Doesn’t flirt with other people
- Goes to church
- Willing to help others
- Places others before themselves
- Makes a positive impact wherever they go
- Enjoys reading the same books and authors as you
- Enjoys playing the same games as you
- Has confidence
Dealbreakers
- Smokes
- Drinks too much
- Uses drugs
- Has a bad temper or is violent
- Has a lot of debt
- Rude to waitstaff
- Is a negative person
- Doesn’t want kids
- Won’t commit to marriage someday
- Has kids from a past relationship
- Lacks ambition
- Unemployed
- History of disloyalty
- Isn’t part of their child’s life
- Disrespectful
- Borrows money a lot
- Doesn’t get along with a lot of people
- Criticizes me
- Wants me to change things about myself
- Puts their career before our relationship
- Can’t be alone
- Controlling
- Jealous
- Isn’t supportive of my goals
- Focuses on only themselves
- Doesn’t listen to me when I’m talking to them
- Secretive
- Has a criminal history
- Isn’t willing to travel
- Parties all the time
- Won’t leave the house often
- Doesn’t clean up after themselves
- Radically political
- Never willing to compromise
- Doesn’t like your friends or family members
- Poor hygiene
- Competitive with you
- Hates that you’re more successful than they are
- Know-it-all
- Annoying
- Loud and abrasive
- Won’t exercise
- No similar interests or hobbies
- Too short/too tall
- Has no drive
- Won’t hang out with your friends
- Never does anything you want to do
- Has a pet you’re allergic to
- Has no friends
- Doesn’t have any long-term goals
Tips for Using a Checklist When Dating
Having a checklist of what you want and don’ want is a useful tool when you’re dating. It allows you to focus on things that are important to you while. It also ensures that you don’t skip over red flags or dealbreakers because you see potential otherwise. Here are some tips for making your checklist work for you:
- Be specific but not so specific that you narrow your potential matches down to 0.
- List enough items that give you a good idea of who you’re looking for.
- Focus more on what you do want than what you don’t.
- Determine what you’re flexible on and what you aren’t before you meet someone. This will help you uphold your standards without being distracted and trying to make it work with the wrong person.
- Review your list after each date or conversation and see if you can check any boxes.
- The list is for your use only. Don’t disclose what’s on it to the person you’re dating or they might try to be someone they aren’t just to fit your needs.
- You are allowed to add and remove things from your list as you change and learn about yourself.
