We’ve gotten a lot of complaints about guys not asking any questions on dating sites. After talking to some guys, we’ve figured out the reasons they don’t ask questions about people they’re talking to online. From guys just not being that interested to them not being able to think of anything that wasn’t already covered in their profile, there are quite a few reasons guys aren’t asking questions.
What This Might Look Like
We’ve heard a few scenarios in which men aren’t asking questions on dating apps. First, the other person is the only one who asks the guy questions about himself, he answers them and may ask the same question back. Second, it’s more of a one-sided conversation where the guy will answer the questions but doesn’t even bother to ask them back. Third, a guy starts a conversation with a greeting but can’t come up with anything to say beyond that so the chat fizzles out.
Reasons A Guy Doesn’t Ask Questions
1. He’s Not That Interested
The guy could just not be that interested in you. His lack of questions is sometimes a sign that he’s not that into getting to know you. When someone is interested in you, they usually want to find out everything they can to make sure you’d be a good match.
They might want to know where you grew up, what schools you went to, what you do for work and fun, what your dog’s name is, and what your biggest dreams are. If he’s not asking you anything, it might be a sign he’s not interested. However, this isn’t always the case.
2. He Only Wants to Hook Up
One of the disadvantages to online dating is that people are just there to hook up even though they say otherwise. Guys that only want to hook up with you aren’t going to take the time to ask you a bunch of questions. They might ask a few in the beginning to rope you into a conversation with them. But don’t expect them to actually try to get to know you. Expect some small talk and then a “Do you want to meet up?” inquiry.
3. He’s Not Good At Making Conversation
Online dating puts a lot of pressure on those whose strong point isn’t written communication. This doesn’t mean he’d be a dud in person either. He just might be having a hard time keeping the conversation going.
4. He Doesn’t Want to Cross Any Boundaries
If you covered general things with him and he isn’t asking any personal questions, he might just not want to cross any boundaries. He doesn’t know what you’re comfortable with him asking and he may not want to make you feel like he’s prying. He may have run into someone else online who was offended by some simple question and he doesn’t want to do the same to you. A lot of guys said they weren’t sure if others were comfortable with answering personal questions online.
5. Your Profile Answered Everything He Wants to Know
This was another common answer. The guy read your profile, even if it was extensive, and learned a lot about you. Now he can’t think of anything original to ask. If he asks about things you already wrote about, it can make him seem like he didn’t even put the effort into reading what you wrote.
6. He Only Cares About Himself
If you’ve ever come into contact with a narcissist, you’ll know that they really like to talk about themselves. This guy might send you a book’s worth of information on himself while not ever asking about you. Some people feel the need for others to know how valuable they are because deep down they are insecure. Whatever this guy’s personal problem is, he only cares for himself.
7. He’s Not Putting That Much Effort Into Trying to Date
He might have downloaded the app, uploaded a picture, and filled out his profile quickly. However, he’s not wanting to put a lot more effort into dating. For some reason, people think the dating site will do the work for them and wonder why they aren’t successful. He may just not be putting in that much effort to get to know anyone and date them.
What You Can Do
Since we’ve found that there are several reasons for a guy not asking you questions, it’s not always best to just ditch him. He might be having trouble coming up with things to say or not want to cross a line by asking you something personal. There are a few things you can do to see if you can turn the conversation around. If these ideas don’t work, you might just tell him that it doesn’t look like you are a good match.
- Start asking him questions and see if he starts asking you some.
- Tell him you’d like to play a game and both ask each other 5 questions. The rule is that they can’t be conventional questions. He’ll need to get creative.
- Let him know that he doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you because he hasn’t asked you anything about yourself. He might have a good reason and step up his game.
- Let him know that you’re an open book and would like to get to know each other better. Give him a boundary with what you’ll share or tell him nothing is off-limits.
What does it mean when someone doesn’t ask you questions?
Someone doesn’t ask you any questions because they either aren’t interested in getting to know you, are bad at conversation, or they may not want to pry or push a boundary. There are several reasons why they aren’t asking you questions and the reason will vary from person to person.
Does it mean he’s not interested if he doesn’t ask me questions?
If a guy isn’t asking you questions about yourself, it could be a sign that he’s not that interested in you. But, it could mean that he’s not sure what to ask. A little effort on your part might help steer him in the right direction if he’s having trouble. If he never catches on, it might be good to move on.
Is it common for men to not ask women questions about themselves when online dating?
Yes, it’s a common problem that we hear about a lot. Women complain that guys aren’t asking them anything about themselves. It makes them feel like he doesn’t care to know them or may not be interested at all.
It’s important to ask someone you’re talking to online questions about themselves. Otherwise, they might feel like you’re not interested in them. If a guy you’ve been chatting with isn’t asking you any questions, it could be because he’s not interested, doesn’t know what to ask, isn’t putting a lot of effort into online dating, or might just be too into himself to bother.
Whatever the reason is, you can try the tips above to try to redirect the conversation. If that doesn’t work, it might be best to tell him there isn’t a connection.