Relationships are complicated and can be hard to deal with. Why are they so hard? Well, there are many reasons. Relationships involve people with emotions and have a lot of things going against them.
Today, we’re going to focus on the top 10 reasons relationships are hard and complicated. Keep in mind that these reasons can vary from relationship to relationship; not every couple will experience every one of these difficulties. However, if you’re curious as to why relationships seem to be such a struggle for so many of us, this article will give you some insight.
Complications In Relationships
Let’s first discuss what complications are in relationships. Relationship complications are the things that make a relationship hard to deal with. This can be anything from each partner’s ability to communicate and show their affection to outside factors like family and work. Complications are what make relationships difficult to be in.
What Is a Complicated Relationship?
You may have seen someone post that their relationship “is complicated”. What does that even mean? When someone says “it’s complicated” that means that the relationship is not simple. It’s not easy to explain and it’s not always black and white.
That’s not what we’re talking about today though. We are just discussing complications that arise in relationships. We’ll save the “it’s complicated” discussion for the future.
You could say that all relationships are complicated. There are a lot of moving parts to a romantic relationship. Pair that with involving our feelings and it’s no wonder why they are hard!
Things That Complicate Relationships
Here are the main reasons relationships can be hard – harder than they need to be sometimes. While some of these things are unavoidable, many of them can be worked on and remedied. These are the main struggles I see that cause complication in relationships.
1. Poor Communication
The number one reason why relationships are so complicated is communication. It’s the base of every relationship, yet it’s also the thing that couples commonly struggle with the most. Miscommunication, lack of communication, or simply not knowing how to communicate effectively can lead to a lot of problems in a relationship.
If both partners aren’t putting forth the effort to effectively communicate their thoughts and feelings with each other, it can make being in a relationship really difficult.
2. Lack of Trust
When you trust your partner, things are a lot more simple than when you don’t. If a strong feeling of trust is present, you aren’t looking at everything your partner does through a microscope. However, when you don’t trust your boyfriend or girlfriend, you examine everything they say and do, constantly looking for hidden things.
For example, when trust is present, it’s not a big deal that your boyfriend got caught up in a work project and was an hour late for dinner that night. He probably texted you to let you know he was running behind and you didn’t think anything of it. If you didn’t trust him, you’d be running through the different scenarios that you thought may actually be happening.
Trust is an important part of a relationship’s foundation. When it is present, the whole relationship is simplified. When it’s absent, small things can become a source of suspiscion and anxiety.
3. Unclear Future
If you and your partner haven’t had conversations about what you are and where you’re headed together, it can complicate your relationship. Think about how much more difficult it would be for you to be successful at your job without clear directives and goals. The same is true in your romantic relationship.
You both need to know where things are going. That way, you can work on the same goals and stay on the same path. For example, if both of you are working on moving in together after being together for a year, then you’d both be planning and doing things to make that happen. If only one of you is working on that goal, the other might renew their lease on their apartment for another year.
It just doesn’t work to have two people working against each other in the relationship. You both need to agree to what you’re doing together.
4. Outside Stresses
Outside sources of stress that can affect your relationship include things like friends, family, work, and finances. These are things that we can’t always control. But, if we are stressed about them, the stress can make its way into our relationship.
For example, if you’re always stressed out at work and handling big projects, you might not be able to focus on what you’re girlfriend is talking about over dinner in the evening.
It can be hard to shut out other things we have going on and devote ourselves entirely to our relationship. The best we can do is to communicate our stresses and work through them together. Balanced give and take in this area can make a big difference.
5. Drama
Have you ever watched a reality dating show? Those shows are interesting because of all the drama! Will so-and-so catch his girlfriend cheating? Did you see that woman throw her drink in her boyfriend’s face? The drama hooks us in because it’s fun to watch on junk television.
However, as you’ve seen, those relationships aren’t lasting and healthy. You certainly don’t need drama in your own love life. If one or both of you are dramatic or cause drama, it can complicate the relationship. A simple evening together is changed when you throw drama into the mix.
Having drama present in the relationship can make it hard to deal with. You’ll probably both be exhausted from dealing with it.
6. Insecurities
Insecurity can be a real problem in relationships. One person might feel like they’re not good enough for the other. They might think their partner is too good-looking or successful for them. They also aren’t confident about the things they have to offer the other person.
These insecurities can make us do things that we wouldn’t normally do. For example, an insecure person might get jealous over their partner talking to someone else. They might accuse their partner of cheating when they’re not because they don’t feel like they are enough for them.
If one or both of you are insecure about yourselves or your relationship, it can make things difficult. Lack of security requires a lot of extra communication, reassurance, and building trust before it gets better.
7. Pride
Pride can prevent us from asking for help and admitting when we’re wrong. It can also make us think that we’re always right and our partner is wrong. Pride can actually get in the way of a lot of things in a relationship.
For example, if you’ve had a fight with your partner and you’re both upset, pride can keep you from apologizing, even if you know you were wrong. The need to always be perceived as being right can keep you from having a healthy relationship.
If you can let go of your pride, it can help your relationship in a big way. You’ll be able to communicate better and work through problems more easily. Pride is like a wall between you and your partner that needs to be torn down. This requires more vulnerability.
8. Differing Love Languages
If you and your partner have different love languages, it can be hard to communicate your feelings to each other. If you give and receive love differently, your partner may not always understand the ways you show them love and vice versa.
For example, let’s say your love language is acts of service and your partner’s love language is words of affirmation. You might be constantly doing things to help your partner out to show that you love and care for them.
Maybe you did a load of their laundry, serviced their car, and completed a project for them. However, they don’t feel loved because you didn’t stop to tell them how much you love and appreciate them. They may have told you how awesome you are that day but you would’ve preferred their help with something.
Having different love languages doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed. But, it does make communicating your love for one another more difficult. It’s important to understand how you both show and perceive love.
9. Expectations
Our expectations for our partners can complicate our relationships. We might have an ideal vision of what we want our partner to be like. Maybe we want them to always act a certain way or meet all of our needs.
However, the reality is that no one is ever going to meet all of our unspoken expectations. When we have high expectations that aren’t communicated, we’re likely to be let down. If our partner has a lot of expectations for us, it can feel demanding.
No one wants the pressure of living up to someone’s high expectations of how we should feel, think, and act. So, you both should keep your standards of what you deserve and accept while lowering your expectations. This will make the relationship a lot easier.
10. Distractions
We have more distractions now than ever before. With technology, there are constantly things pulling for our attention. It’s easy to get lost in our phones or laptops and ignore the person right in front of us.
When we’re not present, it can make our partner feel unimportant and neglected. If we’re always on our phones, listening to our headphones, or sucked into a video game, it can seem like our partner isn’t a priority.
It’s important to put away your distractions and give your partner undivided attention. This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy other things, but there should be a balance. Prioritizing what takes up your time correctly can be difficult.
What Makes Relationships Hard and Complicated FAQ
Why are relationships so hard these days?
Relationships have always been hard. These days we have the added complications of more distractions along with the classic difficulties like communication, trust, and expectations. With the pressure of social media and constant information, relationships seem to have gotten more difficult.
Is it normal to have hard times in relationships?
Yes, it is normal to have hard times in relationships. Some factors can make things more complicated. But, with the right communication and effort, any relationship can be saved.
Why are relationships so stressful?
Relationships are stressful because they affect a large part of our lives. If the relationship is difficult, it can cause us stress. Some factors cause some relationships to be more stressful at times. These are things like poor communication, drama, pride, and insecurities. All relationships can be stressful at times, but some are more stressful than others due to the people who are involved.
Should I end my relationship if it’s getting complicated?
All relationships can be complicated at times. This doesn’t mean that you should throw in the towel. Instead, you can identify what is making your relationship complicated. If it’s something you and your partner can work through, then you can make it better. If the problem is you or your partner, you’d need to be willing to change and grow for it to work out.
Conclusion
If you’ve been asking yourself “Why are relationships so hard?” or “Why is my relationship so complicated?”, you can see now that there can be many causes. After reading through this list, you probably were able to identify a few things that are making, or have made, your relationship complicated.
The most important thing to remember is that all relationships go through hard times. It’s normal for there to be some difficulties along the way. The key is to identify what is making your relationship complicated and then find a way to work through it. With effort from both partners, difficult times don’t need to be frequent or lasting.
