Are you wondering why most of your relationships end around the three-month mark? Or have you noticed that a lot of your friends can’t seem to make it much longer than that? Many have observed these short-lived relationships and wonder what’s going on.
We’ve dug into this three-month relationship curse to find out why couples have a hard time making things last longer. We discovered 20 reasons why relationships are ending soon from the famous three-month freak out to people who are afraid of commitment.
1. The 3 Month Freak Out
Many people who reach the third month of a new relationship end up freaking out a bit. This is because things are reaching a new level of intimacy and becoming more serious. People can get cold feet at the thought of becoming too serious and they bolt.
2. It’s Statistically Inevitable
In a study done by Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist at Stanford, it was determined that the shorter a time a couple is together, the higher the chance they will break up.
In fact, out of new couples that he surveyed, 60% that had been together less than two months broke up. The thought is that a more long-term relationship will have a stronger foundation than a new one. Because of this, couples who aren’t together very long have a higher rate of ending things.
3. It Was a Rebound Relationship
According to Marriage.com, 90% of rebound relationships fail within the first three months. This reason can account for quite a few breakups as we see it happen often. A person leaves one relationship and starts a new one to get over their ex. They think that by jumping into something new, it will help them heal. As you can see from the above statistic, it doesn’t usually work out very well.
4. They Are Still In Love With Their Ex
Even if the relationship isn’t technically a rebound, some people are still in love with their ex. This makes it difficult for them to maintain a relationship with someone else. It’s not realistic to build a healthy relationship when someone isn’t over a past relationship. For some people, this problem never goes away because they never get over that person.
5. Poor Communication
If two people can’t communicate effectively, their relationship doesn’t stand a chance. This probably usually presents itself thoroughly by the end of three months. There might be a lot of misunderstandings and frustrations felt by both people who feel their thoughts and feelings aren’t ever understood. Since most people in new relationships aren’t willing to put in extra work on the relationship, this kind of problem leads to a breakup.
6. Their True Colors Start To Show
It’s easy to put on a show for a month or two and most people tend to be on their best behavior early in a relationship. However, people can’t hide their flaws forever. True intentions, behaviors, and issues start to come out around the three-month mark. People in a new relationship can quickly realize that their partner has been hiding things that are deal-breakers for them.
7. Not Ready For Commitment
One or both parties might realize that they are not ready for the commitment that staying together longer entails. The thought of staying together for the six-month and one-year milestones scares them off. So, instead of sticking around, they leave.
8. They Have Different Values
Having different values doesn’t always seem like such a big deal in the beginning. They think that they can overlook the differences because they’re really into this new person. However, that usually changes once things start to become more serious. People realize they don’t actually want to be with someone who doesn’t share their prioritization of things like loyalty, spirituality, and integrity.
9. There Is a Trust Issue
By the end of three months, it may be apparent that there are some serious trust issues in the relationship. Whether or not there’s a reason for them, a relationship without trust usually doesn’t last long. One of the partners may have been wronged in the past and is now laser-focused on the action of the other.
10. Constant Fighting
It’s easy to avoid fights and just go along with things at the beginning, but after a quarter of a year, arguments can sprout up. It’s perfectly normal to have a few disagreements. However, if they already find themselves constantly bickering, it can be a sign of the end. People think that relationships should be easy for a while and they aren’t willing to put up with things like arguing all of the time.
11. Lack of Intimacy
If a person’s needs are already not being met this early on, they are most likely going to leave and find something fulfilling. People need different levels of intimacy and this imbalance can cause couples to part ways. This is especially true if the communication about these things isn’t quite where it needs to be.
Three months is long enough for a person to figure out if they are being cheated on. At the beginning of a relationship, they don’t know the other person’s schedule and normal activities as well. It’s harder for them to spot infidelity. Once they’ve been together for a bit, they start to know what’s normal and notice if something weird is going on.
The cheater may or may not have been dishonest from the very start. Maybe the relationship started as a side thing for them. Or maybe they got bored after a while and decided to stray. Either way, disloyalty is a sure way to end things.
13. Different Goals
Once they start to meld together, it can become apparent if both parties aren’t headed in the same direction. One may be trying to get ahead in their career and the other wants the flexibility to travel and take a lot of time off. If they aren’t working together, they’re working against each other and the relationship won’t have a good foundation.
14. Conflicting Lifestyles
If a couple’s lifestyles are too different, they can find that they aren’t as good of a match as they thought. One might be out late at the club every night and the other barely wants to leave the house. One might be health-conscious while the other is bringing home bags of fast food each night. When people have conflicting lives, it’s hard for them to build any sort of life together.
15. No Drive
If one person is setting goals, making moves, and achieving big things, it can be a bummer to be with someone with no drive. We’ve seen this a lot with partners who struggle to even hold a job or make it to work on time. This is unattractive and a red flag for a lot of people who value hard work and success. These issues tend to come up after being together for a few months.
16. They Don’t Get Along With the Other’s Friends
After dating a while, people have usually spent enough time around each other’s friends. If they don’t like their partner’s friends or the friends hate the new partner, it can cause big problems. When they can’t combine their love life with their social life, people tend to choose the people who have been around longer – thus choosing their friends.
17. They Don’t Get Along With the Other’s Family
Like getting along with their friends, it’s important to be able to get along with each other’s families. There are a lot of holidays and family functions that force people together. If someone’s partner can’t get through these with their family, it can be a huge source of stress for everyone. It’s not something people want to deal with long-term.
18. Not Enough In Common
By the end of three months, they’ve gotten through all of their childhood stories and people become less interesting. If the couple doesn’t have enough in common, conversations and activities can become stale. The lack of similar interests results in couples not spending as much time together.
19. They Aren’t Attracted Anymore
For one reason or another, a person might find themselves no longer attracted to their new partner. Maybe there wasn’t a strong attraction in the first place. Or maybe they did something to make the other look at them differently. If the attraction isn’t there, it’s hard to make a relationship last a long time.
20. Circumstances Change
Sometimes people are getting along fine and things are actually going great after three months. A change of circumstances can throw everything out the window though. One of them might be offered a promotion that comes with a big move. Or the other is starting college courses and doesn’t have enough time anymore.
The timing of life events and the new relationship might just be off. With relationships this new, people aren’t willing to change their lives around the other’s circumstances and it’s easier just to break things off.
3 Month Breakup FAQ
Do most relationships end after three months?
Many relationships end after three months. According to a study done by Michael Rosenfeld, it was determined that the shorter a time a couple is together, the higher the chance they will break up. In fact, out of new couples that he surveyed, 60% that had been together less than two months broke up.
Why do some relationships only last three months?
There are many reasons why some relationships only last three months. It could be that they didn’t have enough in common, their lifestyles didn’t mesh, or their circumstances changed.
What can I do to make my relationship last longer than three months?
There are a lot of things you can do to make your relationship last longer than three months. One is to make sure you’re compatible with each other in the first place. Good communication is also necessary to ensure a solid relationship. Trust and understanding are also key factors.
What is the three-month freakout?
The three-month freakout is when one or both people in the relationship start to get antsy due to the pressure felt from their relationship. They may bolt from the anxiety caused by entering into a more serious relationship that has lasted a while.
It’s interesting to look at the various reasons relationships come to an end after just three short months. While some of these may be due to outside circumstances, many of them are caused by things that could be avoided with a bit more vetting in the beginning. By being aware of these common pitfalls, you can work on avoiding them to give your relationship a chance to pass the 3-month mark.