How to Approach a Girl At Work

Your workplace is most likely a main social circle for you. It’s no surprise that you’ve noticed a pretty girl that you’d like to ask out. Did you know that 22% of married couples met each other at work?

That’s a pretty big success rate and should be encouraging. The question is, how do you do that professionally and in a way that will make her want to say yes? We have some tips on how to approach a girl at work the right way from making a good first impression to asking her out.

Make a Good First Impression

The most important part of approaching a girl at work is making a good impression on her in the first place. It can mean the difference of her agreeing to date you or you being the topic of office gossip and the “creepy” guy who asked her out. There are a few things you can do to make your initial approach successful.

Be Confident

Approaching an attractive girl in any setting can be nerve wracking. Approach anxiety is really common, especially if you are a shy guy. You’ll need to muster up some confidence and just go for it! There are some key things that will help you look confident even if you really aren’t. 

Maintain Eye Contact

When you approach her, it is important to maintain eye contact. This shows that you are interested in what they have to say and that you are confident. It can be difficult to do this if you are nervous, but it is important.

It is suggested to make eye contact for about 50% of the time during a conversation for 4-5 seconds at a time. You don’t want to just stare them straight in the eyes without looking away, but you want to do it enough to show confidence and interest. You can practice in the mirror and while talking to people you are comfortable with if this is something you need to work on.

Stand Up Straight

Good posture is key to looking confident. Stand up straight with your shoulders relaxed. This will make you look and feel more confident. You don’t want to hunch your shoulders. Standing up straight will help you feel tall and does wonders for your physical appearance. Again, this is something that can be practiced in the mirror or when no one is around.

Use Open Body Language

When you approach her, make sure your body language is open. This means that you are not crossing your arms or legs, which can come across as closed off or uninterested. Instead, keep your arms at your sides or use gesturing to show that you are engaged in the conversation. Try to keep your body relaxed and confident as you would when talking with a friend.

Pay Attention to Your Facial Expression

A genuine smile is one of the most attractive things and makes a huge impact on a first impression. It makes you appear more trustworthy, relaxed, and happy. When you approach her, give her your best, unforced smile. If you need to, practice in the mirror until it feels natural.

You’ll want to maintain a positive facial expression during the rest of your greeting. Work in some smiles without overdoing it. Try to refrain from frowning or looking bored.

Feel Good About Your Physical Appearance

It’s best to approach her when you are feeling good about your physical appearance. The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be for you to appear confident. If you’re planning to approach a cute girl at work, you should wear something that makes you feel good about yourself. This might mean that it’s time to take a trip to the store and find something new that makes you feel amazing.

be confident when approaching a girl at work

Get to Know Her

It’s a good idea to build a rapport with her before asking her out. You want to make a woman feel comfortable before asking her out. Otherwise, you’re likely to be rejected. Plus, getting to know her is a great way to ensure you’re actually a match and that she’s even single or available to go out.

Start Conversations With Her

The best way to get to know her is by starting a normal conversation with her. When you see her around, strike up a great conversation with her. It’s important not to interrupt her while she’s working or at other times that are inappropriate. Wait until she’s available or is making small talk with mutual friends or other coworkers and you can join in.

Good Conversation Starters

The first thing you’ll need to do is come up with something to talk to her about. It can be daunting to try to come up with conversation starters when you’re trying to talk to a beautiful woman. You need to keep things professional at work so you can’t default to a cheesy pick up line. This is the most difficult part, but you won’t be successful if you don’t ever talk to her!

Try to open the conversation up with something interesting that will give you a chance to get to know each other. Avoid asking questions with one-word answers so you can get into a deeper conversation. Here are some good conversation starters that you can easily use at work:

  • Compliment her on a recent achievement, project, or idea that she brought up.
  • Ask her a question about something you need help with pertaining to work.
  • Ask her opinion on a topic brought up at the latest meeting or a new policy change.
  • Simply introduce yourself and tell her you don’t think you’ve had the chance to meet her yet.
  • Ask her about her position and what she does in more detail.
  • Bring up something new you’ve heard about that impacts the office.
get to know a girl at work

There are tons of things you can start a conversation about. Just make sure that you start out with a general topic and don’t move in too fast. Once you get to talking comfortably, you can start asking things like what she is doing over the weekend and more personal stuff. It’s best to start out with something about work to make her comfortable and feel out if she is interested in talking to you in more depth.

Ask Her Out

Once you’ve figured out if she is available and she seems to feel comfortable and enjoys talking to you, you have the green light to ask her out. When and how you ask her out is important and there are different ways to go about it.

Find the Right Moment

Finding the right moment in a work environment can be difficult. You want to do it when other coworkers aren’t around so that neither of you are uncomfortable. One of the easy ways to ask her out is by getting her phone number and giving her a call after work. That way you aren’t intruding on her work time or talking about personal things at work where you can be heard.

If you aren’t comfortable with a phone call, you can find other times at work to successfully ask her out. Try to find a time when she isn’t with other coworkers or in the middle of things. Lunch time or before or after work are times when this will be easiest. Or you can try to catch her on a break or walking to or from somewhere.

Work on Your Approach

You can either ask her out in a direct way, letting her know that you are wanting to take her on a date. Or you can use an indirect approach like asking her if she’d like to join you and some other coworkers for a night out. Group outings are a good way to go out for the first time with someone from work. This also gives you a good reason to talk to them more at work and form a relationship.

Decide which way you feel comfortable asking her out before you approach her. If you’ve shared any common interests with each other, it’s a good idea to work these into your outing. For example, if you both like the same music, invite her out to an upcoming concert. It will be easier for her to say yes to something that she is interested in.

ask out a woman at work

Respect Her Boundaries

Respect is one of the most important things when trying to strike up a workplace romance. You don’t want her to feel uncomfortable at her place of work. If she seems like she doesn’t want to talk to you and isn’t interested, give it a break. She might not be interested in dating someone from work and you’ll have to be okay with that.

If she says that she does not want to go out with you, take no for an answer and let her know that you understand and that you won’t ask again. You don’t want to be pushy.

Stay Professional

Along with the fear of rejection, there are other things to worry about when asking someone from work out. Sexual harrassment has become a big issue and you don’t want to cross any lines. While you likely won’t be reprimanded for just asking someone out, if you are inappropriate in any way, it can cost you your job.

Keep things respectful and professional at all times. This means no inappropriate talk or pressuring her.


How do you know if a girl from work likes you?

If she enjoys talking to you and seems interested in what you have to say, there is a good chance that she likes you. She might seek you out for conversations or take time out of her day to greet you.

What are some things to talk about with a girl from work?

Talk about work-related topics, things going on in the office, or projects you are both working on. You can also ask her how her day is going or how she is doing in general.

What should you not do when asking a girl from work out?

Don’t pressure her, be inappropriate, or try to make her feel guilty for saying no. You also don’t want to damage your working relationship, so it’s important not to make things awkward if she says no.

Is it okay to ask a coworker out?

Yes, it is okay to ask a coworker out as long as you are respectful and understand that there is a possibility of rejection. You also want to make sure that you aren’t crossing any lines or making her feel uncomfortable in any way. When asking a girl from work on a date, it’s important to remain professional and respectful.


As you can see, there is a right way to approach a girl at work for a date. Remember to be confident, get to know her, and ask her out in a way that you both will feel comfortable with.

If you aren’t successful, that’s okay! Not everyone is a great match for you. If you do end up dating someone from work, we suggest asking yourself these questions first and following these rules of workplace dating.

infographic for asking a girl out at work in 3 steps

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