31 Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend is Over You (Not Just Pretending)

If you’re wondering if your ex-boyfriend is over you, you’ve come to the right place. There are clear signs that he’s over you and has moved on … whether you want him to be or not. I’m here to give it to you straight.

But how do you know if he’s really over you and not just putting up a front? Well, let’s take a look at how you can tell he’s really over you. Then we’ll talk about the signs you can look for to determine if he’s moving on. 

How to Tell if Your Ex-Boyfriend Is Really Over You

You can tell that your ex is really over you by the things he says and does. There will be clear indicators of his true feelings if you learn what to look for. 

He might show one sign or multiple signs that can give you the answer you’re looking for so that you can either find closure or give things a second chance. If your ex-boyfriend is missing you, he’ll show these signs instead of the ones below. 

Is He Just Pretending to Be Over You?

It is possible that a guy is just pretending to be over you. He can be trying to make you miss him or just hide his feelings so he doesn’t risk being vulnerable. But, how can you tell? 

If he’s just pretending, here are somethings to look for:

  • He stays in contact with you
  • He’s bothered by you moving on
  • He remains single
  • He still tries to be around you “just as friends”
  • He seems sad or depressed without you

No one can hide their true feelings forever. If you feel like your ex is just pretending to be over you, you might just have to have a hard conversation. Otherwise, use the signs below to determine if he’s faking it or not. 

Is Your Ex-Boyfriend Gone For Good?

You might be wondering if your ex is gone for good following your breakup. While it is possible for people to change their mind after they exhibit signs of moving on, it’s not very likely. If he shows signs that he’s over you, it is best to get some closure and try to move on yourself. 

Some clear signs that he’s not coming back are as follows:

  • He never makes contact with you
  • He doesn’t care that you’ve moved on
  • He starts another serious relationship
  • He doesn’t want to be friends with you
  • He’s happy and his life is going great

While we can’t say that there’s a 100% chance he won’t come back after showing these signs, it’s really not likely. 

Is He Pretending or Is He Over You?

your ex boyfriend is over you vs your ex boyfriend is not over you

Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend is Really Over You

If your ex is never coming back to you, he will do and say certain things to give you the hint. You’ll want to get familiar with these signs so that you know what’s going on. This will allow you to let go and move on. 

He might show one or more of these signs. So pay close attention to what he tells you with his words and actions. 

1. He Doesn’t Try to Get Back Together With you

If your ex doesn’t ask you for a second chance this is a clear sign he is over you. If he wanted to be with you, he would make an effort to make it happen. 

2. Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Contact You

Another good sign that your ex is over you is that he doesn’t try to contact you. This means he isn’t sending you text messages or making phone calls. 

In fact, he isn’t talking to you at all. Unless you made a no contact rule that he’s respecting, if he isn’t reaching out to you, he’s over you. 

3. He Doesn’t Ask About You

If your ex-boyfriend is around your best friend or mutual friends of yours and he doesn’t ask about you, he’s likely over you. Otherwise, he’d be finding out how you are and what you’ve been up to from people who have been around you. 

Since he doesn’t care to ask, he probably isn’t thinking of you at all. If he were missing you, he’d be asking for details about you from friends. 

4. He Unfollows Your Social Media Accounts

If he starts unfollowing your social media profiles, your ex is over you. This means he doesn’t care to see what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. 

This termination of online friendship is one of the clearest signs that your actual relationship is over too. He would want to have access to you and let you know he’s still around if he were still interested. 

5. He’s In a New Relationship

Aside from getting into rebound relationships, if he is in a serious relationship with a new partner, that means he’s moved on. This is one of the biggest signs that he’s over you and isn’t just pretending. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have found a new love interest easily. 

quote that your ex boyfriend is over you

6. He Advertises His New Girlfriend

Although posting about new people you’re with can sometimes be a way to make your ex jealous, it can also mean that they’ve simply moved on. If this new person is showing up across his social media platforms, this means he’s serious enough with her to show her off. 

If he’s publicly announcing his new girl, then he doesn’t care if you see. This is an obvious sign that he isn’t just pretending to be over you. 

7. He Has Found New Hobbies

Sometimes a breakup can feel like a gift of freedom. It makes you want to reinvent yourself and do things that you love. 

If your ex feels great after your breakup, he might start doing new things and finding new hobbies. These things can replace the time he used to spend with you. He’s not moping around and missing you which is a telltale sign he’s moved on.

8. He Won’t Go the Extra Mile for You Anymore

Your ex-boyfriend may have been super helpful to you while you were dating. However, if he’s unwilling to help you out now, he is over you. Since he no longer has the feelings he once had, helping you out with things isn’t worth his time anymore. 

9. His Body Language Says He’s Over You

You can tell a lot from someone’s body language. Your ex probably used to smile when he saw you and physically react in a positive way. 

Now that he’s over you, he will avoid any kind of physical contact, avoid looking you in the eye, and have closed-off body language. Pay attention to the way he reacts physically when he sees you to tell if he’s still into you or not. 

10. He Avoids You

If he avoids seeing you in the first place, this is a good sign that he’s over you. If he still had feelings for you, he would want to be around you if he could. 

Instead, if he won’t go somewhere that he knows you’ll be, he probably has moved on and wants to avoid running into you. 

You might notice that your ex-boyfriend avoids eye contact with you. Or if he sees you out somewhere, like at the grocery store, you might catch him trying to head in the opposite direction.

11. He Doesn’t Show Any Signs of Jealousy

If you discuss your love life with him or let him know that you have other love interests and he doesn’t care, he is probably over you. If he was missing you, the thought of you being with someone else would make him jealous or be hard for him to hear. 

If he is indifferent to you dating someone new, then you can take that as an indication that he’s moving on. He might be too preoccupied with his life without you to care that you’re into someone else.  

quote that your ex boyfriend is gone for good

12. He Moves to a New Place

If he makes big life changes like moving to a new place and getting a new job, he’s looking for a fresh start. Him physically distancing himself from you is a big sign that he’s done. 

Also, making big life changes is his way of shedding his past with you so he can start something new. 

13. Your Ex Boyfriend Gives You Back Gifts You Gave Him

You may have given your ex gifts and things of sentimental value while you were together. These things remind him of the good times that were shared. If he doesn’t want to hold onto these items that hold happy memories, he’s moving on. 

The act of him making a point to give them back to you is a way for him to let you know that it’s over. Otherwise he could just toss them without you knowing. He wants you to know what his intentions are. 

14. He Ignores You

You might send him drunk texts or sincere messages trying to talk to him. If he ignores your communications, then he’s over you. 

Otherwise, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to connect with you again. Don’t keep trying thinking that he’s just hiding his feelings.  

15. His Family Members Dismiss You

While you were dating, his family was (hopefully) nice to you because they care about him. If they’ve now stopped talking to you, deleted you from their social accounts, or ghosted you, then you know he’s told them it’s over for good. 

His family members would probably continue the good relationship with you if they thought there was a chance you’d be back together with him. Since they don’t this should be a sign to you that he’s not coming back. 

16. Your Ex’s Friends Stop Talking to You

Like his family, his friends probably made an effort with you because you were dating their friend. However, now that it’s over, they don’t have any allegiance with you. They might stop communication, remove you from their friends list, or even flat out be mean to you. 

It’s clear that it’s over between you and your ex at this point. Otherwise his friends wouldn’t be so quick to turn on you. 

17. He Cancels Future Plans With You

Maybe the two of you had tickets to a concert that’s coming up. Or maybe you booked a vacation for the holidays. 

If he cancels those plans with you even though he’s already paid for things in advance, then you know he’s not into you anymore. Otherwise, he might take the opportunity to try to get back together. 

18. He Hates You

Hate is the opposite of love. If he hates you, he obviously doesn’t love you still. If things didn’t end on good terms, his past feelings could be replaced with bad ones. This is a bad sign that he’s definitely over the relationship. 

19. He Looks Better Than Ever

While sometimes a revenge body is an effort to try to win someone back, it isn’t always a sign that they are trying to get your attention. 

A lot of guys will let themselves go after a breakup because they are depressed and missing you. If he looks better than ever, he’s probably putting extra effort into getting noticed by new girls so that he can move on. 

quote that your ex boyfriend is moving on

20. His Life is Going Great

He might be showing you that he’s really over you by doing better than ever without you. The breakup might have been the kick in the pants he needed to start bettering himself and finding his way in life. 

If he’s doing great instead of pining after you and being upset over the breakup, chances are that he has grieved and moved on for good. 

21. He Encourages You to Move On

Just because he’s over you doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still care about you in a non-romantic way. Your ex-boyfriend might be encouraging you to move on so that you can find happiness again. This will also make him feel less guilty about moving on himself. 

22. He Gets Back With His Ex

If you were his rebound, he may have been with you in hopes of getting over his ex-girlfriend. If he gets back with her right after the two of you break up, then he may have just been using you in the first place. 

He probably didn’t give himself enough time to get over her before starting his relationship with you. Since they’re back together, he never stopped having feelings for her. So, you didn’t really stand a chance. 

23. Your Ex is No Longer Nice to Your Friends

He may have been nice to your friends in order to make you happy. Now that it’s over, he doesn’t make an effort with them because he doesn’t have to. If he doesn’t care for you anymore, he won’t care to make an effort to impress your friends anymore. 

24. He Does Not Want to Be Your Friend

There are a few signs that a guy still wants to be your friend after a breakup. If he doesn’t show any of these signs, then he has probably moved on.

25. Your Ex-Boyfriend Blames You For Everything

If your ex is blaming you for everything that went wrong in the relationship then he probably doesn’t want to try again. Whether his feelings are valid or not, this is a sign that he doesn’t think you’re the right partner for him. 

26. He Doesn’t Have Strong Feelings For You 

If he seems more apathetic than mad, angry, or hurt after your breakup, then he might just be over it. Usually when there is love, there is passion behind our actions. If he doesn’t seem to have any strong feelings toward you anymore, then he isn’t just pretending that he’s over you. 

your ex boyfriend isn't pretending he's over you

27. He’s With Someone Else the Next Day

If your ex-boyfriend is already with someone else the next day or the next week, then he probably didn’t take your relationship seriously in the first place. He didn’t need to get over you because he wasn’t in it at all. 

28. Your Ex Starts Being Mean to You

If your ex has started being mean to you toward the end of the relationship or after the breakup, then he’s over you. He may be acting that way because of things you did or because he was resenting you toward the end. 

If he was mean, disrespectful, or hateful toward you, then you don’t want to be around him anyway. This is his way of showing you that he doesn’t care anymore. 

29. He Asks You For His Things Back

Whether he gave you some things as a gift or left some of his stuff at your place, if he’s asking you for things back, then it’s over. He wants to have a clean break and doesn’t want there to be excuses for you to see him in the future. 

If he’s asking for things back that he gifted you, he no longer values you enough for you to have them. While you really shouldn’t ask for gifts back, it’s his way of letting you know he regrets giving them to you in the first place. 

30. They are Short With You

Even if they respond to you when you reach out to them, your ex might be really short with you. If he only answers with short, yes or no responses, then he isn’t interested in communicating with you. 

31. He Gets More Serious With Someone Else

Did your ex not ever want to take things to the next level? It may have just not felt right to him. 

If he’s moved on to someone else and gets more serious with them, then you know it’s over for sure. If your ex is more willing to move in with, get engaged to, or take things further than they did with you, then they are over your relationship. 

your ex is moving on with someone else

Your Ex-Boyfriend is Over You FAQ

Here are questions that I frequently receive or see others ask about their boyfriends being over them. If you have a question, please ask me in the comments. 

How do you know if he’s gone for good?

While you may not know he’s gone for good until he never comes back to you, there are some signs to look for. If he’s doing really well in his life, never contacts you, and finds new love, you can be pretty sure that he isn’t going to come back. 

Why is my ex-boyfriend silent after our breakup?

Your ex is silent after a breakup because he’s either heartbroken, angry, or he has moved on. He might be stopping contact with you to protect himself or he may be over you already. 

Will he regret breaking up with me?

It’s hard to know for sure if a guy will regret breaking up with you. If he exhibits signs that he wants you back after the breakup, then he might be missing you. 

How do you know he’s over you?

You’ll be able to tell that he’s over you by the things your ex says and does. If he moves on with his life and seems happy without you, then he’s over you and your relationship. 


Feelings and intentions can be confusing following a breakup. You’re not always sure how the other person is feeling. So, you might be wondering if your ex-boyfriend is really over you after the relationship is over.

Luckily, there are many signs to look for that will show you what he’s truly feeling. You’ll be able to determine if he’s over you or not by what he says and what he does. If you pay attention to his words and actions, you’ll be able to come to a conclusion. 

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