Ghosting someone means that you end your relationship suddenly without communication. You delete them from social media, block their number, and become unreachable. You basically disappear (become a ghost).
Is it Okay to Ghost Someone?
Most people say no, it is never okay to ghost someone. We agree that it really isn’t the kindest thing to do. It is considered cowardly to just vanish from someone’s life without an explanation or heads up. It also means neither of you get the closure you often need to successfully move on from the relationship. If you read our post on 5 Ways to Break Up With Someone, you know it isn’t our first choice for a breakup.
However, contrary to popular opinion, we think ghosting is sometimes okay. For example, if you have been in a physically or mentally abusive relationship, it’s okay to disappear on them. In fact, it’s probably best that you ghost them rather than breaking up with them in person in this situation.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is manipulative, ghosting might be the best option for leaving them. When you go to break up with them, they might talk you into staying and twist your feelings. You may find yourself trying to leave unsuccessfully and need another way out.
Whatever your reasons for ghosting someone are, we aren’t here to judge you. You have to do what is best for yourself and your future. Let’s look at what you’ll need to do in order to successfully ghost someone and end your relationship with them.
How to Ghost Someone
1. Stop All Contact With Them
This means that if they text or call you, don’t answer. Likewise, you have to stop reaching out to them completely.
If they know where you live, this might be a little more difficult as they can show up at your house. If they do, pretend you aren’t home and don’t answer the door. It can become problematic if they keep showing up and you might have to move in a severe situation. It’s not likely to get to this point though because most people can take a hint and won’t want to be around someone who is directly avoiding them.
2. Block Them From Your Social Media Accounts
You don’t want them to be able to see what you’re doing or be able to contact you through any of the social media sites you’re on. Make sure they are blocked on any Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, LinkedIn, Pinterest, or other social media accounts you have.
If they are friends with your friends it is a little trickier to block them from everything. You might need to ask your friends and family to get rid of them off of their accounts too. Otherwise, they might see anything you’re tagged in or in the background of.
Likewise, you’ll need to make sure that none of their friends or family are on your social media accounts. They would be able to look from their friend’s account and see exactly what you’re up to, where you are hanging out, and who you’re with. If the situation is dire, you might need to close your accounts to avoid them seeing you.
3. Avoid Places You Have in Common
If you went to the same gym or enjoyed the same coffee or lunch spots, you might need to avoid those for a while. After all, if they are seeking you out for answers, they might be frequenting your favorite spots hoping to run into you.
We recommend trying some new places for a while (or maybe forever).
As you can see, ghosting someone can get pretty complicated. Especially if they are persistent or obsessive. This tactic is good if they are someone that will back off once they get the hint. However, if they aren’t going to give up without some really big efforts, you might find yourself in a situation where you have to explain yourself to them after all.
If you do end up running into them, either by chance or their persistence, you’ll have some explaining to do. It can get pretty awkward. You can revert back to our post on how to break up with someone in person and follow the steps there to end it for real.
You might get lucky and be able to end it for good with the above steps. In this scenario, ghosting successfully gets you out of relationships you don’t want to be in anymore while avoiding conflict with the other person. However, there is no timeline where you’re completely safe from having to have an awkward conversation if you do see them eventually.
What to Read Next