10 Reasons You Feel Distant in Your Relationship + How to Fix It

Are you feeling distant from your boyfriend or girlfriend? If so, you’re not alone. Many people experience this problem in relationships. There are many different reasons why this might happen, and it’s important to figure out what’s going on so that you can fix the problem. In this article, we will discuss 10 common reasons why people can feel distant from their partners. We will also talk about what you can do to overcome these problems and strengthen your relationship!

What Does It Mean to Feel Distant?

When you feel distant from your partner, it feels like there is a wall between you. You may feel like you are no longer close to them, and that you are in fact very far apart. You can be in the same room with them and find yourself feeling lonely.

The distance felt can be a physical or emotional one. You might find yourself craving your partner’s touch or for them to just listen to you or have a deep conversation. You may be used to being able to share everything with them and now find yourself holding back because you don’t feel as close.

The feeling of being distant from your partner can be confusing and frustrating. You might wonder what happened or what you did wrong. It’s important to remember that feeling distant from your partner does not mean that you are necessarily bad for each other. Most couples feel distanced from their partners at times and there are things you can do to make it better.

10 Reasons You May Be Feeling Distant From Your Partner

10 Reasons You Feel Distant in Your Relationship

1. Poor Communication

Maybe you’ve started to tune each other out. You aren’t really listening when the other is talking. Likewise, when you’re talking, you might find that your partner seems to be preoccupied and giving you one-word answers.

One or both of you might feel like you aren’t being seen or heard properly. This can make you feel like an unimportant part of each other’s lives.

What You Can Do

Lack of good communication can make either of you feel distanced from each other. It’s important to actively listen and show that you care about what your partner has to say. Try to avoid interrupting them, make eye contact, and intentively listen to what they’re saying.

You may also want to schedule time together where you can focus on each other without interruption. If you find yourselves getting caught up in day-to-day activities without making time to talk with one another, you should find a time that works for both of you to connect.

2. Different Interests

It’s common for people in relationships to find that they have different interests. This can be a source of tension if you’re not careful.

For example, one partner might want to go out and party while the other would rather stay home and read a book. One person might like camping while the other doesn’t enjoy being outdoors.

You might find yourselves having a hard time connecting over activities. There may be things you’d rather go do alone than spend time doing something the other person wants to do. This can make you feel like you have nothing in common and might leave you wondering if you’re even a good fit.

What You Can Do

You don’t have to like the same things to be a good couple. In fact, it’s healthy to find things to do apart from each other. The important thing is to find some common things that you both enjoy.

It can also be helpful to find a way to compromise. If one person wants to go out and the other would rather stay in, maybe you can meet in the middle and go out one night and stay in the next. Or, find a few things that you both like to do together and work them into your routine together.

3. Lack of Trust

It’s hard to be close when there isn’t trust between you and your partner. This can be caused by many things such as infidelity, arguments, or even just feeling like the other person isn’t being honest with you.

If you and your partner don’t trust each other, you’re likely holding back in the relationship. You may not feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with them which can put a wall up between you. You might feel like you have to keep your guard up with each other all the time which can make you feel exhausted.

What You Can Do

Rebuilding trust takes time but it is possible. If there’s been a breach of trust, it’s important to talk about what happened and why it hurt. From there, you can work on rebuilding trust by being honest with each other and showing that you’re reliable.

You both need to be willing to work on building trust. It may even be helpful to speak to a counselor together to work on things together.

4. Personal Issues

One of the most common reasons why people feel distant from their partners is because one of them is facing personal issues like depression, stress, or anxiety. These issues may have nothing to do with the relationship, but they can make a big impact.

For example, someone who is struggling with depression may start to withdraw from their partner. They may not want to do things that they used to enjoy or they may stop talking as much. This can make the other person feel like they aren’t important or that they’re being pushed away.

What You Can Do

If you or your partner is facing personal issues, it’s important to communicate with each other about what you’re going through. You may not understand what’s going on with each other if you don’t talk about it. Be honest about how you’re feeling and what might be causing feelings of distance in your relationship.

You can work through these problems together and with outside help if needed. You might even feel closer after working through things like this. Being there for each other when things aren’t easy will help build feelings of trust and reliability.

5. Lack of Intimacy

Intimacy is important in any relationship. This includes physical intimacy, but it also means emotional and mental intimacy. If you’re not feeling intimate with your partner, it can make you feel like you aren’t as close. This is especially true for those who have the love language of physical touch if the physical intimacy is lacking.

What You Can Do

If you’re feeling a lack of intimacy, it’s important to make time to be with each other. This means that you may need to designate a date night each week. It may feel like it’s not romantic to schedule a time to be together, however, if you aren’t making time naturally, scheduling a night can help.

On your date night, make sure to focus on each other. This means that you put away your phones and really talk and listen to each other. You can also find ways to be more physically affectionate with each other like cuddling or holding hands when you’re watching a movie together.

6. Busy Lives

If you and your partner are generally busy, it can be easy to deprioritize each other. You might find yourselves working on projects in the evening instead of spending time together. Or there may be things that keep you away from each other for long periods of time like work trips. Perhaps while you are together you’re distracted by things like Instagram and emails which makes you unable to connect.

When you’re not spending time together, it can be easy to grow apart. You may start to feel like you don’t know each other as well as you used to.

What You Can Do

If you’re both busy, try to find ways that you can connect even when you’re not together. This might mean sending each other good morning messages and video chatting in the evening.

Make sure that the time you do get to spend together is special and uninterrupted. If you’re not getting a lot of face-to-face time in, you can utilize these long-distance date ideas while you’re apart.

7. Relationship Issues

If you’re spending a lot of energy arguing with each other, you don’t have much left to spend positively. This can lead to feeling distant from your partner because you’re not focused on the good parts of your relationship.

If there are a lot of issues in your relationship right now, you may be feeling resentful of your partner and you might be pushing each other away.

What You Can Do

It’s important to take a step back and look at your overall relationship. Are there more negative moments than positive? Are these things that you can fix if you work together? You need to solve the issues in your relationship before you can feel closer.

8. Criticism

When you or your partner criticize each other, it can cause problems. If you find that one or both of you are nitpicking the other one, it can cause walls to be put up. You may start to feel like you can’t do anything right or that your partner is never happy with you.

Criticism can also lead to feeling defensive and this will only make things worse. If you’re feeling attacked, it’s hard to feel close to your partner. When they are negative about the things you’re doing, it’s hard to want to be around them a lot.

What You Can Do

If criticism has become a problem in your relationship, it’s important to take a step back and look at your communication. Are you both able to express how you’re feeling without attacking each other? If not, it may be something you need to work on with each other.

You may also need to learn how to accept constructive criticism without getting defensive. This is something that you can work on with your partner. If you can learn to take what they’re saying and use it constructively, it will help your relationship a lot. When you can respectfully let each other know things that you’d appreciate working on, you can build a healthier way of going about things without criticizing.

9. Need For Alone Time

Another reason you may feel distant from your partner is if one or both of you is needing some alone time. If either of you tends to feel suffocated when you’re around people too much, it can be hard to be with someone constantly.

You may start to feel like you never get to be alone and that can make you push the other person away.

What You Can Do

Make sure that you both get time to yourselves. This is necessary for any healthy relationship and doesn’t mean there is anything wrong. You should both have things that you do alone so you don’t feel suffocated by the other person.

This will help you appreciate each other when you are together instead of feeling trapped. Respect the other person when they say they need their space and take your own as well.

10. They Are Pulling Away

Here’s the answer none of us wants when we ask why our partner feels distant. While it can be because of things other than them pulling away, it can be because they aren’t happy in the relationship.

They might be becoming distant because they don’t want to be with you anymore. If you’re the one who is pulling away, think about why you may be doing it. Is it because you aren’t happy being around your partner anymore?

What You Can Do

You may not notice right away that your relationship is failing. Maybe the first thing you noticed was that you seem to be distant from your partner. If there are any other clear signs that your relationship is over, it may be time to have a serious heart-to-heart with your partner.

Have a conversation about what you both are thinking and feeling. If it seems that there are many issues and the relationship isn’t working out, it may be time to break up. Feeling distant can sometimes be a symptom of a relationship that isn’t meant to be. However, this isn’t always the case.

How do you fix a relationship when you feel distant?

Now that we’ve gone over several reasons why you might be feeling distant from your partner, you can probably identify one or more reasons you’re feeling this way. Once you identify the problem, you can work on fixing things with your partner.

If you are both willing to put in the effort to become close again, it shouldn’t be a problem. Most relationships go through phases where we feel super close to our partners and more distant at other times. The key here is communication and the willingness to work through things together.

Feeling Distant In Your Relationship FAQ

Is it normal to feel distant in a relationship?

It can be normal to feel distant in a relationship from time to time. If you’re feeling distant, it’s important to communicate with your partner and try to work through the problem.

How do I get over feeling distant from my partner?

If you’re feeling distant from your partner, you should try to communicate with them and work on the problem together. If you’re both willing to put in the effort, you can usually overcome feeling distant.

Why do I feel distant from my partner all of a sudden?

There could be several reasons why you feel distant from your partner all of a sudden. One of you could be dealing with personal issues, your communication could be lacking, or maybe you just haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together lately.

Can your relationship recover from being emotionally distant?

If both you and your partner are willing to work on the problem, then yes, your relationship can recover from being emotionally distant. Remember to communicate with each other and try to spend some quality time together.


Distant relationships can be difficult to fix, but with effort and communication, they can often be salvaged. If you’re feeling distant from your partner, it’s important to identify the cause of the problem and work on fixing things together.

Remember that most relationships go through phases where we feel close and distant at different times, so don’t panic if this happens to you. With a little effort, you and your partner can overcome feeling distant from each other.

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