How can you tell if a guy really wants to be your friend after you break up? He may have told you he wanted to be friends, but is it true? Or you may have told him that you’d still like to be friends, but was his agreement honest?
Breakups are messy and hard to navigate sometimes. You don’t really know what your life will look like afterward. This includes what your relationship with your ex will be like. Will you be friends? Or never speak again?
How to Tell If He Really Wants to Be Friends After a Breakup
“Let’s just be friends” is a phrase that’s thrown around so much in breakups. It’s difficult to know whether it’s an honest statement or not. So, how can you tell if a guy really wants to be your friend after the breakup?
You’ll have to pay attention to his actions during and after the breakup to tell if he wants to be your friend. It’s easy to say you will remain friends, but how is he acting and treating you? These actions will show you if he is interested in being friends with you and if you should even want to remain friends with him.
Do Guys Ever Really Want to Be Friends With Their Ex?
While it’s not super common to see exes that have lasting friendships, it does happen. After all, a lot of people are just not a great match romantically. They might share interests and views that allow them to be better off as friends though.
A survey of 536 people showed that 348, or 65%, of them had maintained a friendship with their ex following a breakup. While the quality of the friendships and length are questionable, this does give us hope for being able to maintain a post-breakup friendship.
Some guys really do want to be friends with you after a breakup. They form emotional attachments and may want to preserve the friendship they’ve built with you. While being friends after a breakup can be complicated, it is something that some guys truly want.
Signs He Wants to Remain Friends After the Breakup
While you won’t know if you will be friends with your ex boyfriend until it actually happens, there are signs you can look for that can indicate a true future friendship. Take a look at these signs that show he still wants to be your friend, even post breakup.
1. He Told You He Wanted to Stay Friends
While we know that you can’t count on it, if he told you he wants to be friends, it may be true. If he doesn’t say it at all, you can almost certainly count out the possibility of a future friendship.
If he expressed interest in remaining friends even though the relationship ended, this is a sign that he does want to maintain a friendly relationship.
However, you should look further into things before taking him at his word. After all, a lot of people say this when they break up and end up parting ways for good.
2. The Breakup Was Amicable
If the breakup was amicable, there is a better chance that the two of you can remain friends. However, if there was hatred, disrespect, and a lot of arguing, he probably isn’t interested in really being your friend.
Nasty breakups are a sign of incompatibility which won’t lead to a true friendship. You won’t magically treat each other better in a friendship situation. If there were huge problems during the relationship and breakup, it’s not likely that you’ll be friendly afterward.
During the breakup, pay attention to how he treats you. Does he still care about your feelings? Is he being fair and respectful? Are you able to communicate in a kind way to one another? If kindness and respect are still present, you may have a chance at friendship.
Here are some tips on how to kindly and politely break up with someone. This will give you a better chance of a friendship afterward.
3. He Checks In With You After the Breakup
Once the breakup is actually over, you’ll have a clearer picture of what the future is going to look like. If you stop hearing from him, he probably doesn’t want to be friends.
Some distance is healthy and necessary for you both to heal. However, if he doesn’t reach out at all after a long time, he’s probably not interested.
Instead, if he checks up on you after the breakup, you’ll know that he is still thinking of you and cares about you as a person. While this may be a sign that he wants to get back together, he might just be making sure that you’re okay and missing your friendship.
Sincere check-ins will look like him asking how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life. This type of communication can continue on and turn into a lasting friendship.
4. He Invites You to Hang Out Platonically
While you don’t have to hang out to remain friends, if he actually asks to see you, he probably wants to continue a non-romantic relationship. This is a big indicator of remaining friends as he is actually putting in effort to preserve the relationship.
If the two of you are able to meet up and still enjoy each other’s company, it’s a good sign that you’ll be able to be friends. When he continues to invite you to meet up, this is a true sign that he wants to be buddies.
5. He Maintains Healthy Boundaries
If your ex is making efforts to still communicate with you, there is a good chance that he is sincerely wanting to be your friend. But, you need to be careful and make sure that his intentions are good.
Boundaries are really important when trying to be friends with an ex. You’ll need to make sure that you have clear boundaries and that he respects you enough to maintain them.
If he tries to push the friendship back into a relationship or something that is more than platonic, like a friends with benefits deal, or situationship, then he doesn’t really want to just be friends. You’ll need to make sure that the friendship remains a true friendship and that he isn’t trying to get back together with you under the guise of being your friend.
So, Does He Really Want to Be Your Friend After the Breakup?
If you’re confused about where you stand after a breakup, you’re not alone. Many of us don’t know what our future relationship will look like with our ex.
You can use these five signs as indicators of your ex boyfriend wanting to be your friend. Generally speaking, if he still shows effort and care toward you as a friend, he might really want to “just be friends”.
Now, the question is – should you be friends with your ex? What kind of complications will that bring? And is it even worth the hassle? Luckily we’re here to help you navigate this messy, rocky road that is a breakup.